All the Feels Read online

  It was time to head back to the atrium.

  She headed out of the bathroom, aiming for the elevators.

  “Hey!” someone shouted. “Hey, I get that!”

  A man grabbed her arm, and Liv jumped.

  “What?” she gasped.

  A man in Mad Hatter cosplayer grinned down at her ample bosom. “My other ride’s a star freighter.” He laughed. “Like Star Wars, right?”

  “Starveil,” she muttered.

  “I want a picture with you, babe.”

  “No thanks,” Liv said, walking away.

  “Just a picture.”

  “No.”

  She took another step, but the costumed man followed. “Hey!” he shouted. “I said I want a picture!” His tone grew belligerent.

  Liv kept walking.

  He followed.

  “Hey! Don’t be such a bitch about it!”

  “Sorry!” Liv said, not looking back. “But I’m with someone.” Her heart danced against the walls of her chest. The room, packed, made it difficult to get away.

  “HEY, YOU!”

  She peeked over her shoulder and yelped. The Mad Hatter had almost caught up to her.

  “I don’t want to fucking MARRY you!” he yelled. “I want a PICTURE!”

  Suddenly the crowd parted and Xander appeared. He looked up, catching sight of her expression. “Liv? You okay?”

  “Time to go!” she gasped, pushing through the quicksand of the crowd. “Now!”

  The Mad Hatter closed in.

  “I know what you’re like! Fake geek girls who think they can just wear a fandom shirt and pretend they’re hot shit!” His voice rose until it was a roar. “I said I wanted a PICTURE! Hey! You listening to me?!”

  Liv reached Xander’s side, but he didn’t go with her, he kept stalking toward the Mad Hatter. Seeing them, Liv realized they were dressed as two sides of a strange nineteenth-century coin.

  “Begging your pardon,” Xander snarled, “but the lady very clearly said NO!”

  The Mad Hatter’s attention jumped over to Xander. “This has nothing to do with you, asshole! So fuck off!”

  Xander’s lips tightened into a white slash of indignation. “If it concerns her, it concerns me. Your behavior is utterly repugnant.”

  The crowd turned in interest, watching the dispute grow. “And what’re you going to do about it?” the Mad Hatter sneered.

  As Liv watched, Xander pulled his gloves from his pocket and slapped the Mad Hatter across his face. Despite the hum of the room, a loud pop echoed forward. The action was so bizarre, so out of time, it made no sense. The Mad Hatter jerked back. People broke into applause.

  “What the hell!” The Mad Hatter rubbed his cheek. “Did you just slap me with your fucking glove?”

  Xander rose to his full height. “I challenge you to a duel, sir!”

  “To a duel?”

  People around them lifted their phones, recording the action.

  “Er … something like that.”

  The Mad Hatter grinned. He cracked his knuckles. “You are so fucked, prissy boy.”

  Xander took a half step back. “Oh dear.”

  With a shout of pure rage, the Mad Hatter lunged. The crowd gasped. Xander spun on his heel and sprinted straight toward Liv, his face white with terror.

  “RUN!” he shrieked.

  Liv didn’t know whether to laugh or scream, so she followed Xander. The two of them bolted into the crowd, stopping only when nine floors and a locked door separated them from the crazed con-goer.

  Liv slid the bolt into place. “That was just nuts!” she wheezed.

  Xander flopped down onto the hotel room’s couch. “The demented fan,” he panted. “Now that’s an experience I could have done without.”

  “Me too.” Liv giggled.

  And with that, they both fell into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.

  * * *

  Liv woke in the darkness of the unfamiliar room. Heart pounding, she tried to get her bearings, but nothing made sense. There was a window on her left, but it was on the wrong side for her bedroom. She was warmer than usual, and she could hear the faint sound of laughing and talking coming from far away. She frowned. It wasn’t her mother’s voice.

  Where in the world had she—

  “You need more room?” Xander whispered.

  She jerked as she realized that the warmth she was feeling wasn’t just the coziness of a bed, but of Xander’s arms wrapped around her. Flashes of the night returned.

  “I’ll take the floor, m’lady. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.”

  “I never asked you to be a gentleman. And there’s plenty of room here.”

  “Are you certain…? I’d be more than happy to provide you ample lodgings.”

  “Get into bed, Xander! I’m not jumping you. I’m offering you a mattress.”

  “I acquiesce under duress … but only say the word and I shall remove myself at once.”

  “I’m fine. You’re fine. Mario thinks we’re nuts. Now go to bed.”

  “Good night, dearest.”

  “Night, Xander.”

  She’d expected something after that point—even with the other people in the room—but he’d rolled away from her, and seconds later she’d been asleep.

  With the last cobwebs of sleep torn away, the layout of the room returned. A faint glimmer of streetlight filtered in through the windows. On the other bed, Mario and Emma slept on. Liv rolled the other way. In the shadows, Xander’s eyes were the glint of two dark coins.

  “I can move if you want,” he whispered.

  “I’m fine,” Liv said, hoping the darkness of the room hid the smile on her face. “Sorry for waking you.”

  A gentle hand brushed her hair. “No worries. I’m a light sleeper.”

  “Do you want me to take a turn on the floor so you can have the bed to yourself?” she asked, hoping against hope that he’d say no. “You know … so you have more room?”

  She felt his laughter rather than heard it. “You must be joking, dearest. There is no place I’d rather be than here.”

  Liv rolled closer, tucking her head under Xander’s chin. She was warm and content, his arms around her.

  “Go back to sleep,” he said, his voice softer now. “I’m fine.”

  “I’m better than fine,” she sighed.

  His fingers brushing over her hair were a comfort, lulling her. Tomorrow she’d consider what exactly was happening with Xander, but tonight she was happy to just be.

  “Night, Xander,” she murmured.

  “Night, dearest.”

  And in minutes, she was wrapped in dreamless sleep.

  13

  “A SPARK COULD BE ENOUGH TO SET THEM ABLAZE.”

  (THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE)

  Liv woke to the sound of snoring.

  The room was filled with diffuse light, the curtains slightly parted to reveal Atlanta’s skyline. She sat up, a tangle of sleep-rumpled hair falling across her face. Liv was cold—inexplicably so—and she turned to discover Xander had rolled to the far side of the bed, his black hair half-hidden by a pile of covers. Disappointment filled her chest.

  She’d hoped to wake in his arms.

  Liv slid from the shared bed, moving carefully to avoid waking Xander. As she crossed around to the other side of the room, she snuck a peek at him. His eyes were closed, a half grin on parted lips. The word debauched floated to mind, and Liv felt her cheeks redden, but she closed herself in the bathroom instead of following the thought to fruition. At the time, she’d taken their midnight snuggling in stride, but in the bright glare of morning, she was far less certain about her actions.

  What in the world was she doing with Xander? Of more concern, what was he doing with her? Liv had known for some time that she had developed a huge crush on Xander. But she wasn’t entirely certain he shared the depth of her feelings. He’d come to bed last night, but he hadn’t kissed her, and though there was a definite spark to their interactions, Xander a
lways flirted with her. Actually, Liv thought, he always had. Even when Arden had been in the picture, the two of them had had a continuous banter. But did it actually mean anything?

  Xander flirts with everyone!

  With that uneasy thought in mind, Liv showered and dressed as she sifted through past events for some hint of Xander’s feelings. Liv wasn’t good at just “going with the flow.” If overthinking was a skill, she was an expert in the field.

  “Coffee will help,” she muttered as she headed from the room and down to the Marriott’s lobby.

  The atrium was already buzzing, and Liv people-watched as she waited in line. Several Starveil cosplayers passed by, and Liv felt her anxiety rise. Her hands were sweaty by the time she placed her order. Today was the big Starveil panel! And though Liv was desperate to attend, she was nervous about seeing Tom Grander again. It belatedly struck her that while she always thought of the man as Spartan, that was only the character.

  By the time she returned, Emma and Mario were awake and dressed. The second Emma had joined them in their room, and Xander was just finishing his shower. She handed him a paper cup as he emerged from the bathroom.

  “Coffee,” she announced.

  Xander brushed her fingers as he took it from her grip. “You know your way to a man’s heart,” he said with a wink. “This is the second one I owe you, dearest. I’ll have to come up with a suitable way to show my thanks.”

  Too flustered to answer, Liv passed out the other cups to Emma and Mario, and foisted her own drink on the extra Emma in the room. She bit back a smile as Xander took his first sip and sighed: “Perfect. Absolutely perfect.” Perhaps caffeine wasn’t the only way to put her in a good mood.

  The first part of the morning was spent at a small independent-film session in the bowels of one of the smaller hotels. Xander played on his phone, apparently “checking his schedule” while Liv scribbled notes about internships and the Hollywood film system as fast as she could. The team that hosted the panel was part of a group of independent filmmakers who had collaborated on several music videos and a short science-fiction film that had made it all the way to Sundance. Leaving the room, Xander offered Liv his arm.

  “Feeling like you’ve found your own kind?” he asked.

  Grinning, Liv slid her hand into the crook of his elbow. (When had this become the way they walked? she wondered.) “Something like that,” she said. “I might try to contact them sometime. I think that’s the kind of thing I could do after college.”

  “Aha—that sounds suspiciously like schoolwork.”

  “Only a tiny bit.” She giggled.

  “Then no more for the rest of the day.”

  “It’s a deal.”

  Lunch took place at the Peachtree Center, where Liv and Xander had to practically fight a group of ninjas to get a table at the food court. Afterward, they took a trip down to the vendor room to purchase fandom items. For the most part, Liv had become acclimatized to the crowds jostling her everywhere she went, but the dealer room felt like arriving in yet another level of compression. Walking room was at a premium. The crowd moved at a plodding pace, and you either kept up with the crowd or were jostled along without your consent. Salesmen hawked television and movie memorabilia at every table. Any geeky accessory you might want, any retro item from your childhood you wished to recapture, any slogan or costume, could be found at small booths that ran in a grid throughout the room. She felt like a child in a candy store, her eyes widening with each step. Liv planned to buy a T-shirt or two, but when a sweaty teen rubbed up against her, Liv’s focus became on escape.

  She turned to catch Xander’s eye: “Out!” she mouthed.

  With a nod, they began to ford against the stream. It took half again as long, and twice Liv felt like she was going to scream, but they finally made it out the main doors.

  “I hate this part of con,” Liv said. She rubbed her sweat-slicked arm with the other sleeve and shuddered. “That many sweaty people is just gross.” She looked longingly back at the room. “Maybe I’ll come back later. There were such cool things in there.”

  “I hate to tell you, Liv, but it’s always like that in the vendor rooms.”

  Liv hung her head. “Dragnat all!”

  “Were you looking for something in particular?”

  “The new Starveil shirt,” she said sheepishly. “The one that says ‘There’s More Than One Escape Pod on a Ship.’”

  “Wonder why,” Xander teased.

  “I heard from Joe that someone on Etsy actually made a Malloy T-shirt,” Liv added. “People are wearing your face on their chests now.”

  It was Xander’s turn to look longingly at the room. “You wait,” he said, “I’m going back in.”

  He disappeared into the crowd, and Liv was left alone in the hallway. Bored, she flicked through the Dragon Con scheduler on her phone. Tonight was the Steampunk Ball Xander had persuaded her to attend with him and his friends. Trouble was, Liv had nothing to wear. She sighed and flicked backward, scanning alerts. The big Starveil panel was this afternoon. At any other con, the Starveil panel would be second choice to many others, but after MRM’s hints at an announcement, it was anticipated to be one of the biggest of the entire convention. Joe had already texted Liv to say she and Brian were in line; a few Starveil fangirls were tagging them out for bathroom breaks throughout the day.

  Liv chewed her lower lip. Tom Grander was slated to be at this panel. The idea of seeing Grander again left Liv fighting a mixture of unease and ebullience. She adored the character of Spartan! Tom Grander, however, was another thing.… A flurry of movement distracted her and she looked up.

  She could see it was Xander, but her brain refused to process the thought. It was him, and yet it wasn’t. The young man who approached was no longer dressed in a tailcoat and linen shirt. He wore a bright blue T-shirt with “Major Malloy Sent Me” emblazoned across his chest, velvet jacket hanging over his arm. Xander’s hair was messed from its regular pompadour and hung in tangles across his forehead. The entire effect was unsettling.

  “You’re staring,” he said drily.

  Liv closed her mouth, averting her gaze. “I just like the shirt.”

  “I’m sure you do, since you’re the reason for it.” He chuckled. “And here’s another thing that’ll boost your ego. This one’s yours.” He pulled a bright green “escape pod” shirt from the bag. “I guessed at your size.”

  Liv groaned. “I’m not a medium.”

  “I made sure it was a woman’s cut, so it takes account of the curves. I still think it’ll fit.”

  “It won’t,” Liv argued. “I take a large.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “Do too.”

  Xander sighed. “I spend all my time selecting costumes. Trust me, Liv. You’ll fit this medium shirt much better than a large.”

  Liv crossed her arms, scowling. “Will not.”

  He stepped closer, his smile turning devilish. “Liv, dearest, I promise you I am well acquainted with your delightful curves. This shirt is perfect.”

  Liv tried to come up with a retort, but she was tongue-tied by the thought of Xander looking at her. She shook her head, feigning annoyance.

  “I will buy you a new one if it’s not,” Xander said. “But please, Liv. Just try it on before you make me head back into Dante’s inferno.”

  Liv stomped to the nearby washrooms. “It’ll never fit!”

  “Try!”

  But when Liv finally came out of the stall and looked at herself in the mirror, she had to agree. The shirt fit beautifully: loose enough over her breasts but nipping in at the waist. (A waist she rarely noticed she had.) Liv schooled her face into displeasure as she emerged from the bathroom. She’d be damned if she’d tell him that.

  When she reached the hallway, Xander was staring into the vendor hall. He looked, Liv realized, as uncomfortable in his new clothes as she did. He turned as she neared, and a wide grin crossed his face.

  “I told you it’d fit!�
�

  “Yes, but I’m only wearing it on one condition.”

  His brows drew together. “Condition?”

  “That you wear your T-shirt, too.”

  “Already am.”

  “Yes,” Liv said, her eyes sparkling. “But you have to wear yours to the Starveil panel.”

  * * *

  The Starveil lineup was already down the street when Liv arrived. Brian, Joanne, and most of the Spartan troop were waiting at the front.

  “I told you Brian was our secret weapon,” Joe said. “He kept you a spot.”

  “Thanks, Brian.” Liv slid into line beside them. “That’s nice of you.”

  “We’re going to get great seats,” Joe announced. “I’m going to record everything and upload it to YouTube as soon as the panel ends.”

  “Cool,” Liv said. “I’m sure the fans will appreciate that.” She looked back down the line, which snaked through the hallway and out the door. “My God, Brian. What time did you arrive? There’s got to be three thousand people here.”

  “Security wouldn’t let me line up until three,” Brian grumbled. “But I waited out their rounds, then went back again. I was here as soon as lineups began.”

  “You’ve been here for three hours. That’s crazy!”

  Brian gave her a dead-eyed stare. “Hardly. I’ve been here since three this morning.”

  Liv’s laughter died in her throat. “Well … thanks. I owe you one.”

  Joe peered behind Liv. “So where’s your boyfriend, Xander?”

  “I … um…” Liv fumbled with her reply. Should she correct Joe and admit she and Xander weren’t officially together, or should she let the misunderstanding go? “He ran to the parade, but he should be here shortly,” she said. “There’s a group of them going together. Xander texted me to say someone built a working steampunk hovercraft.”

  “You should have told him to meet up with us,” Joe said. “I’ve been telling everyone about him.”

  “He’ll be here.” Liv glanced down the line and frowned. “At least he should be…” As she said the words, her phone buzzed.